Currently as I write this post there is only one hour left in what was a Monday in late July. The room where I'm seated is completely quiet except for a barely recognizable chatter between unknown people on a random television program.
Sitting on a soft white couch in my living room, my fingers as they tap keyboard are the creating the largest disturbance to the otherwise tranquil house.
Somewhere else my two new roommates are sleeping so this post is being written as silently as possible. The people sleeping in the house where I'm currently living aren't Lola or Lucia, the people who I lived with for nine months in Murcia: They are my parents, and this "current" place of residence is the house where I grew up in Sausalito, California. Being the last one awake in the house is a tradition we have been keeping for many years now so it feels comfortably familiar to be keeping it going :)
Since returning home from Spain practically a month ago life has changed, in some aspects instantaneously and others quite gradually.
People walk differently, traffic flows a little differently, conversations between people flow at different paces, and simply the wind hits your face differently. Some friends are now engaged, some have kids, some have new jobs, some are newly single, and some haven't been in touch at all. It's been nice catching up with important people after nine months of temporary absence and refreshing to feel a part of their lives once again.
Slang words that had previously been left in the mental attic have now been opened up like last year's Christmas present. People expect tips, expect you to wait in line, don't get upset if you to pay with credit or debit cards, and it's common to experience good restaurant service. Instead of walking or checking tranvia/bus schedules between places there now exists my own car. It's horribly great how easy I can have access to Goldfish Crackers, Mexican food, and mouth inferno hot sauces again. I can go into a public bathroom and expect there to be soap and hand towels not just one or the other. You can catch people mid conversation about the 49ers rather than debating about who will play against Real Madrid. The scorching white Murcian sun has been replaced by the marshmallow fog of the Bay Area. It's been odd being home but at the same time it's been like a breathe of fresh California air. I don't have to worry about being hot, translating verbs inside my head, or sounding like an American speaking horrible Spanish.
Despite being home from Spain for a month now, the rhythm of home has taken slower to readjust. The first time going grocery shopping in America I accidentally walked into a woman with her food cart, cut off an elderly man between checkout stands, and had absolutely no idea where salad dressing was located. Looking around the store I felt lost with how many options there existed and found myself blocking the flow of store traffic. Like common household items, future plans beyond living with my parents is completely hidden somewhere between unseen store aisles, possibly between the bread and organic hand soap.
Outside of seeing friends, being with family, and taking in the much desired local flavors of home there has been one major goal since returning to the United States: Get a job, save money, decide on the next life step. I'm hoping that achieving one goal will be a gateway towards the others.
Slang words that had previously been left in the mental attic have now been opened up like last year's Christmas present. People expect tips, expect you to wait in line, don't get upset if you to pay with credit or debit cards, and it's common to experience good restaurant service. Instead of walking or checking tranvia/bus schedules between places there now exists my own car. It's horribly great how easy I can have access to Goldfish Crackers, Mexican food, and mouth inferno hot sauces again. I can go into a public bathroom and expect there to be soap and hand towels not just one or the other. You can catch people mid conversation about the 49ers rather than debating about who will play against Real Madrid. The scorching white Murcian sun has been replaced by the marshmallow fog of the Bay Area. It's been odd being home but at the same time it's been like a breathe of fresh California air. I don't have to worry about being hot, translating verbs inside my head, or sounding like an American speaking horrible Spanish.
Despite being home from Spain for a month now, the rhythm of home has taken slower to readjust. The first time going grocery shopping in America I accidentally walked into a woman with her food cart, cut off an elderly man between checkout stands, and had absolutely no idea where salad dressing was located. Looking around the store I felt lost with how many options there existed and found myself blocking the flow of store traffic. Like common household items, future plans beyond living with my parents is completely hidden somewhere between unseen store aisles, possibly between the bread and organic hand soap.
Outside of seeing friends, being with family, and taking in the much desired local flavors of home there has been one major goal since returning to the United States: Get a job, save money, decide on the next life step. I'm hoping that achieving one goal will be a gateway towards the others.
So far I have been lucky in landing a part time wine bar job in San Francisco where three nights a week I pretend to know the difference between Merlot and Syrah. After sending dozens of resumes and savaging Craigslist, Monster, and Indeed like that was my second occupation there are some promising opportunities that could surface within the next couple weeks.
One month since between stateside there exists a good chance I will go back to Murcia at the end of September to start a second school year teaching English. However there is a chance I will try to save some money and teach somewhere else, potentially Colombia. There is also a chance that I will land a "career" job and stay stateside for a long time. At this point there is a really good chance of anything happening and it's vastly uncertain where the next steps in life direct themselves. The one thing that has surfaced through the internal lake of life decisions is that one more year of teaching English is something that I really want to accomplish.
One month since between stateside there exists a good chance I will go back to Murcia at the end of September to start a second school year teaching English. However there is a chance I will try to save some money and teach somewhere else, potentially Colombia. There is also a chance that I will land a "career" job and stay stateside for a long time. At this point there is a really good chance of anything happening and it's vastly uncertain where the next steps in life direct themselves. The one thing that has surfaced through the internal lake of life decisions is that one more year of teaching English is something that I really want to accomplish.
Despite not knowing what exactly the next clear decision will be, having more experiences with good friends and family has been like a resurgence of vitamins missing from a daily diet. Doing brunches, seeing concerts, grabbing a quick beer or simply watching a quick inning of a baseball game on television have been simple experiences that I have greatly missed during my time in Spain. I've missed seeing close friends from home and I also sincerely missed being a close friend. Being back home I feel blessed to have the friends I grew up with and seeing them again, family included, has had more importance than passport stamps.
As these final words flash along the whiteness of computer screen I don't know what time I'll wake up tomorrow, or even know what the next fifteen minutes post overdo blog posting will look like. The unknown is a little terrifying, yet silently like this house it's something I want to hold onto because I know that soon there will be concrete plans and a definite direction towards something. Having no idea keeps life interesting and forces you to be more "here" than "everywhere else."
The only thing I want to do is embrace not having a clue, being in between jobs, in between plans, and in between dreams.
Cheers for now, you look beautiful, have a nice day :)
Cheers for now, you look beautiful, have a nice day :)
